Sorry for the lack of posting lately. Sometimes, I feel like I have a lot to say and share with the world. Mostly, I think we do a decent job schooling. I believe in homeschooling. I like to share my ideas, the books I like, the stuff that’s working. But some months, wow, I just feel like a failure. Most of those months are probably Februaries. I should go back and keep some data on that.
Mushroom’s anxiety is what’s killing us lately. It’s amazing what an energy suck anxiety can be. I am smacked with anxiety every once in awhile. I have some things that make me anxious and unsure. Dentistry is especially perilous for me. The dentist once suggested that I get a prescription for valium before coming back. Oy. But generally, I’m not an anxious person. I am pretty confident and happy.
There was a time, as a kid, when I remember going through a really fearful phase. I was probably about seven years old. I remember I thought there were probably monsters under my bed. Such a cliche, I know. But I went around jumping from furniture to furniture and just generally jumping at every little thing. Finally, my mother took me aside and told me a truly terrifying tale. If I continued like this, she said, eventually I would be scared to go outside. My grandfather developed agoraphobia after some serious health problems and he never left his house and yard as a result. Did I want to end up like that? Well, that sure put the fear of fear in me. I remember so clearly thinking that would be a fate worse than death or monsters. And that I’d better just conquer all my fears. And then, for the most part, I just did. I would go out of my way to prove to myself that I didn’t need to be scared, even sticking my feet under the bed in defiance of the monsters.
How I wish I could somehow magically impart whatever it was that made me be more scared of being scared to Mushroom. It’s times like these that make you question your parenting.
Don’t get me wrong. We have strategies and help and all the things you need with an anxious kid, but sometimes I wish I had one of those kids who are like dandelions, who can thrive anywhere, under most any circumstances.